Confidence Killers

Here’s a little list of the 10 things I’ve seen stopping the hospitality leaders I work with feeling confident. And when they’ve tackled just a few of them I’ve seen their confidence bloom.

Any of these something you could cross off your list?

1. Never stopping - when we move from one thing to the next without a pause, we don’t get time to recognise what we’ve achieved.

2. Taking feedback too personally - seeing a piece of feedback as a critique of your entire personality rather than something useful you can learn from at work.

3. Caring too much about work - we all need standards, but there is such a thing as caring too much about work and making it our entire personality. When we make a mistake, it’s like our whole identity is at stake.

4. Not listening to or absorbing positive feedback - confidence comes from allowing the good stuff to land too, so take the time to absorb it and even keep a file with it in - I call this a brag file.

5. Mistaking confidence for arrogance - it’s OK to be proud of what you’ve achieved. It doesn’t mean you are going to turn into a dckh*d if you own it.

6. Being harsh on yourself - we can be our own worst enemies, so watch how you talk to yourself when you make a mistake or have a hard day - we are all human.

7. Comparison and competitiveness - aim to be inspired by others' success rather than threatened by it, and to focus on your own unique strengths rather than longing for someone else’s.

8. A toxic boss/ex/friend - certain people may have worn down your confidence. Have the right people around you and identify how they made you feel, then write down how you want to feel instead.

9. Staying in a job for too long - lack of change can make us feel afraid to go outside our comfort zone. Staying somewhere for years isn’t a problem in itself, but do recognise if you’re staying because you are scared to leave and challenge yourself.

10.Waiting to feel confident before you do something - sometimes we think we need to feel confident before we take the leap, but actually confidence often comes from doing the thing and realising you can handle it.